Remaining Focused 

Its somewhat of a mystery to me – an elusive discipline that continues to slow down my progress.  I doubt I’m the only one who has, or does, struggle with it. I could call it laziness. Or I could call it procrastination. Yet what I feel it may be instead is a battle within that I have not chosen to stand up against. I don’t have an accurate name for it at this point. But let me do my best to put it into words. 

I’m sure we have all had someone say something like; “I feel as if God is saying you should do such and such.” Or, “I feel as if God is saying you need to start doing this or that.” What you’re being told excites you, or simply confirms what others, or God Himself, has said in the past. You take that word into prayer and decide it’s time to act on it. But then you don’t. For whatever reason you find it difficult to muster up the motivation to even begin. It’s like an unseen battle rages against you. Motivation is completely sapped and you just can’t get going. 

I enjoy writing. It’s my way of dealing with things I can’t understand. Somehow, though English was not my best subject, I developed a strong vocabulary and have been criticized for pointing out grammatical errors. I find that I write in a completely different “language” than the way I talk. So not only do I enjoy writing, I’m actually pretty good at it. But I find it so difficult to motivate myself to do it.  

I know that God has a lot He wants to say through me. And it seems as if writing is the way He wants to do it. So what is it going to take for me to get this thing going? I want to be used like everyone else.  I don’t want to waste my life and gifts when God has given me an opportunity to impact others in a positive way. 

If I had to be honest, I’d say my idols get in the way as well.  Many times when I have the opportunity to be alone with Him and read His word, pray or even write, football is on. Or some tv show I’m afraid to miss. It takes a discipline that I am lacking to really engage and be focused. I’ve got to overcome this enemy of my gifts in order to be who God has called me to be. The battles within are always the toughest to overcome. But with Him, all things are possible. 

So, let’s see what it is He wants to say. Stay tuned…