One of the amazing things I have discovered about God over the last year is how well He works with us in the situations we are in. More often than not, we don’t realize He’s even doing anything. It reminds me of a quote by Graham Cooke: “God is always doing more behind our backs than He is right in front of our face.” This is where I believe the term “hindsight is 20/20” comes into play. When we look back on the circumstance we face, we are able to see what it was He was doing all along.
Let me give you my most recent example.
I have literally had more jobs than I count. I’m not proud of this, but it has left me with a lot of little skills in many different areas. Maybe some of it will have a purpose – maybe not. Either way, that’s not my point. I can count on less than one hand how many of those jobs I actually liked or enjoyed. I have hated – maybe that’s too strong – I have severely disliked the vast majority of the jobs I have had. The jobs I did like I either screwed up and got fired from, or I was let go for economical reasons. Thank you market crash of ’08. But I have struggled in every sense of the word to find my place in the working world.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not afraid to work. And part of me feels really accomplished when I leave a day with a job well done and gave it my all. But what I have learned about myself is that I want my work to matter. I don’t want a normal 8-5, five day a week life. It’s predictable and allows for complacency. I already struggle with procrastination at times, so being complacent is a killer. Nothing gets done. But I was brought up with the mentality that you work, you provide and do whatever you can to put food on the table and pay the bills. This process of thought has it’s place. But it is so restrictive and leaves no room for finding what you were meant to do.
Therein lies my lifelong struggle: what was I created for/to do?
The tough part about figuring out this portion of our journey in faith…..is the journey. While the journey, rather than the end result, should be our focus, I have learned that God is not going to wave some magic wand over me and be like; “There, you are now ready for what I have called you to.” And to be honest, I’m really glad it doesn’t happen that way.
Now for a quick sidebar – when you make the decision to surrender your life to Christ and receive His Spirit by faith, you immediately become who were called to be. We serve a God Who sees the end from the beginning. Therefore, we are on a journey of learning to become and live like the person God already knows us to be. I hope that makes sense. If not…hopefully this will help.
Currently I work for one of my best friends. He wasn’t that close of a friend at first – like we didn’t play Xbox on the weekends kind of close. But it has definitely grown into that. I have – being cautious again – severely disliked this job. And I never shied away from being blunt with him about that fact. We sell custom car parts for hot rods and classic cars via the internet all over the world. We get a lot of phone calls and orders and have to work through problem solving. So here is my dilemma with this job: I do not like answering phones; I do not like direct customer service (in this type of setting, though I love people); and I do not like cars…at least how they function. Ask my wife – I love to drive; its one of my favorite things to do. But I do not care how that car works. Obviously, I am not fit for this job. But God had a covert plan that I knew nothing about.
I have worked there for just over 2 years. Honestly…my attitude has sucked the vast majority of that time. Customers would call and I would answer the phone like they just interrupted the season finale of The Blacklist (another story for another time). I had zero interest in talking to them and cared even less about making a sale. All kinds of country boys with their supped-up rat rods would call in wanting to know of this do-jigger would work on the do-floppy they had on their ride. The answer was always the same…..I don’t know!!! I would huff and puff and all but growl at them (I am literally laughing at myself as I confess this) just begging them to stop talking and hang up the phone. Yeah, customer service is my calling, for sure.
Don’t judge me on the country boy thing – I’m country and love it. But you know those down south Louisiana or Alabama boys don’t have a lot going for them in the area of vocabulary and proper speech. They need a special Rosetta Stone lesson all their own.
Just poking fun – nothing but love!
But in all seriousness, I struggled because I was so insecure and felt I had nothing to offer. I knew nothing about car parts and how they worked together. So answering the phone knowing I wasn’t going to have an answer made me feel stupid. This job was not working with my strengths at all. Instead, it was torturing all of my weaknesses. I wanted out. My boss and I had it out one day so severely about my attitude that he sent me home. He was done with me. And again, I felt defeated – like I had failed for the gozillianth time.
But then something amazing and unexpected happened…he showed me grace. And then to take it a step farther, he expressed his belief in me that not only could I be better, but I was already better than I realized if I would just open my eyes. He helped me to see that the biggest issue wasn’t the job, it was my perspective toward the job and my belief that I couldn’t do well at it. He spoke life into me. I deserved to be fired – many times over. But instead of punishing me (other than sending me packing for the day), he encouraged me. Just like God, he looked beyond my mistakes and the potential damage I was doing to a company he built. He saw my potential and capabilities better than I did and called them out of me.
I would like to say that I have been attitude-free since then. But I would definitely be lying. Yet I have improved tremendously. I am more courteous (most of the time) and am able to perform my job better than I thought. Because of this, I have gotten a raise (which took place only a month after that argument – another sign of grace) and gained his respect and trust to get my job done well.
Beyond all of that, somehow, without me even noticing, my boss and friend slowly moved me into a leadership role as the company grew. I thought I was still just working the same old position. All the while he was moving me up in the world. I had become someone I didn’t realize I could become – a leader. And a good one at that. Go figure, right? He gave me something else I didn’t deserve – a position of leadership and respect over the other employees.
This was preparation for the next stepping stone in my journey. Next month (June 2016), I will be stepping into a Director position with the ministry my wife and I started years ago. Isn’t that just like God? He moves in ways that we don’t notice in order to put us in a position to see our own full potential – the very same potential He put in us from the very beginning. We only need to open our eyes to His truth about us and begin living as if we believe that we are who He says we are.
So if you find yourself in a less-than-desirable position, please try and look at it beyond your understanding. Act right, do your best and trust God knows what He’s doing. You really never know what He’s doing or is going to do. I don’t deserve anything that’s been given to me. But there is so much more He desires to give us if we will only take the time to believe in ourselves as much as He believes in us.
Steven Andrew, Jr 
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